This GiveBIG, ReWA’s goal is to raise $100,000 to increase our capacity to remove barriers to housing, education, legal status, and employment for 200 Ukrainian refugees. By giving to ReWA this GiveBIG, you can help provide critical support to clients such as Ukrainian refugee Liudmyla. ReWA client Liudmyla’s dream in America was simple: build a foundation upon which to improve her life through work.
After traveling thousands of miles, first to Poland and then to the United States, bringing only a suitcase, Liudmyla was determined to make her dream come true. With the help of a ReWA case manager, Liudmyla connected with an employer in Federal Way, Washington, who recognized her skills and capabilities. Despite initial language and cultural barriers, Liudmyla remained focused on her goal of becoming self-sufficient. After showing a strong commitment to her employer, she has been given advanced opportunities.
Liudmyla’s journey is a testament to the strength of the human spirit and the power of community support. As Liudmyla says: “never wait to act, be happy, and do good now.” Liudmyla attributes much of her success to ReWA. She regards ReWA as her second family and expresses gratitude for the emotional and practical support she has received. By receiving wraparound services that help in all areas of her life, she has been able to acclimate herself to the American way of life.
Please give today so ReWA can house, employ, train, and apply for legal status for 200 Ukrainians this year.
Mahnaz Eshetu, Executive Director
Category: Uncategorized
Designing for Equity: Mones’ Story
Mones Esfandiari is a young woman who was born and raised in Afghanistan before relocating to the United States in 2016. Since an early age, Mones had a passion for art and hoped to incorporate it into her studies. Upon moving to the United States, Mones was determined to pursue her passion for the arts and enrolled at Todd Beamer High School in Seattle. While exploring the city, she became inspired to pursue a career in architecture, and her fascination with the city’s beautiful buildings fueled her ambition to design and construct buildings herself. Mones’ family background in engineering has also had a significant impact on her career path.
“When I was little, I always wanted to be an engineer and work on construction sites. When I came to Seattle, architecture was the first thing that came to my mind and since it was related to art and engineering, I decided to go for this field.”
Mones’ first contact with ReWA was in 2018 when she faced challenges with the English language and needed assistance with college and scholarship applications. During her high school years, she struggled with English, making it difficult for her to stay motivated. Despite her best efforts, she always felt inferior to other students, which affected her self-confidence and self-esteem. However, with the support of ReWA, she was able to gain access to help with essay writing and financial aid applications.
“Lucinda, Alicia, and Reza helped me a lot with my essays for scholarships, helped me to apply for financial aid, and meet with different professors in colleges and universities.”
ReWA also connected Mones with an architecture firm to gain insights into her field of interest. Through ReWA, Mones met with an architecture firm, SKL (Sundberg Kennedy Ly-Au Young Architects). Following her meeting with SKL, Mones was invited to participate in a competition aimed at designing something that would benefit the immigrant and refugee community. Impressed with her skills, SKL asked Mones to participate in a panel discussion to discuss the project she designed during the competition. Although Mones was initially stressed, the experience greatly impacted her life. Not only did it boost her self-confidence and morale, but it also provided her with valuable lessons on how to share ideas with others to improve society. Mones and her team won second place.
“This experience was really valuable for me and impacted my life not only for my future career but also helped me build confidence because I found myself in front of groups of professionals. Although I was stressing, it improved my self-confidence and gave me morale that I can improve in the future.”
Mones has shared a range of designs on her Instagram, TikTok, and website. One project that she is particularly proud of is a building design for a community in South Park, Seattle. Through research and site visits, Mones found that the neighborhood lacked access to fresh produce. Using the AIA Framework for Design Excellence, she designed a building that included a market, community kitchen, dining space, classroom, and affordable business office. This opportunity helped Mones understand how to use the environment to solve a design problem; Mones realized that every little piece of information is important and can turn into a transformative piece of work.
“As an architecture student, I want to incorporate all my ideas of art and combine them with design. Building and designing a place that people can enjoy and hope to visit one day.”
Before this project, Mones focused mostly on visual design without realizing how design impacts the community or whether the community needs the space. But she realized that design can be very powerful and affect people’s health and well-being. By making healthy design decisions, Mones can strive to become a successful architect and designer who cares about the environment and the health of the community while staying creative.
Mones reflected on her journey in architecture, thinking back to the doubts and fears she had faced when she was younger. She remembered feeling scared and uncertain about whether she could succeed in a field that was traditionally dominated by men. Mones felt compelled to share her story and encourage other young women to follow their passions, no matter the field. Mones wants other women to know that their backgrounds and cultures are unique and valuable, and that their opinions and styles are what makes their work truly amazing.
With a sense of optimism and enthusiasm, Mones wants to remind women:
“I want to encourage all women to do something that they’re passionate about and believe that their design or work will be worth remembering someday.”
You can follow Mones on her social media profiles below:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mones_esf/?hl=en
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mones_esf
Website: https://direct.me/mones_esf
@mones_esf P3. adding detail is the final part and my favorite✨ #asthectic #digitaldrawing #asmrdrawing #interiorsketch #architecture #floorplandrawing ♬ House music(256554) – TimTaj
Giving Tuesday
Welcome to Giving Tuesday!
This year we seem to be doing everything differently: working remotely, wearing face coverings, and limiting our holiday gatherings to those in our immediate households.
So this #Giving Tuesday, we wanted to try something new…
You’ve heard how ReWA is impacting immigrant and refugee families over the past year:
- back in March, we put out an emergency call to help ReWA clients stay connected to vital services and learning as classes went online.
- You also helped seed an emergency fund for families who lost their income and were waiting on unemployment to cover necessities.
- And at our Annual Gala you met an ESL student making the most of quarantine by improving her English up to Level 2, enabling her to start a job training program and support her family.
But this Giving Tuesday, instead of sharing client stories, we want to introduce you to a few ReWA staff and Board members—the ones who hustle behind the scenes—recruiting volunteers and forging community partnerships with individual donors, private foundations and corporate supporters. All of these efforts help ReWA’s programs reach thousands of immigrants and refugees across the Puget Sound.
Everyone has their part to play, and today you’ll meet a couple of the ReWA team.
Thank you for your continued support and partnership.
Sincerely,
Mahnaz Eshetu
Executive Director
Emma Thordsen: ReWA’s Volunteer Coordinator
Meet Emma Thordsen. She is ReWA’s Volunteer Coordinator, connecting individuals and groups to volunteer opportunities as ESL teacher aides, citizenship classroom assistants, voter education outreach volunteers, and other long- and short-term opportunities. Thank you to all our volunteers who have stepped up to help immigrants and refugees stay connected to learning during the past year. We look forward to offering more in-person volunteer opportunities in 2021.
Yeri Yun: ReWA Board member and former Early Learning Center parent.
“I first heard about ReWA through its Early Learning Center, where both my daughters attended. ReWA’s mission resonated with me, having been raised in a low-income, immigrant family. Your support on Giving Tuesday, helps our newest neighbors connect to jobs and put food on the table. Thank you for your generosity and continued support.”
Men’s mental health and wellness
Hamid is a 30-year-old male, born in the United States. He studied engineering at university. Though he faced many challenges in his education and life, Hamid always persevered because he was taught that as the oldest son in his family, he had to be the best and always be strong. Being the eldest of five siblings, Hamid took on a lot of responsibility to support his parents and family. Hamid was taught that boys are tough, strong, independent, and do not show weakness. Hamid learned this through the messages he received from society about how a boy becomes a man.
Let’s explore Hamid’s life and how he shifts from the expectations of society and how he can overcome the challenges he faces.
5-year-old Hamid
Hamid’s experience: As a young boy, Hamid was shy and reserved. He did not talk much, but instead, buried himself in drawing and reading.
During recess, he was not interested in playing sports, but would sit back and draw or read.
Impact of Societal Norms on Hamid: Because society teaches us that boys are rowdy, Hamid’s parents worried that their son was not “normal”. They would compare him to their friend’s sons, and say “Hamid, why don’t you go run and play with the boys”, or “get out of those books”.
The other boys in Hamid’s class would tell him to play football with the boys. He would hear negative messages about reading from his male classmates.
Hamid’s internalization of these norms: Hamid started internalizing that he is a boy and should run around, be rowdy and have lots of energy. He began to struggle between doing what he loves—reading and drawing— and wanting to please his parents. Hamid began thinking that to fit in with his male classmates, he had to play sports during recess or else they would not like him.
10-year-old Hamid
Hamid’s experience: As Hamid got older, he continued facing similar challenges. At this point, his parents asked him to take on more responsibilities so he began a part-time job mowing lawns for neighbors. Hamid also helped his siblings with their schoolwork, often mediated their problems, and always showed up as the “strong older brother”. Everyone could depend on him.
Impact of societal norms on Hamid: Hamid learned that it was normal for young boys to take all this responsibility even if it was too much to handle. He never felt safe sharing his feelings with anyone because he was afraid of being seen as “weak”.
Additionally, he learned that boys are to be strong. Hamid takes on the role of “hero”—always being able to support others and be a shoulder to lean on. But he learned not to ask others for support or burden them with his problems.
Hamid’s internalization of these norms: Hamid never complained or expressed that the responsibility was too much for him. He did as he was told without conveying how it affected him. He had a hard time recognizing his own emotions and expressing them.
15-year-old Hamid
Hamid’s experience: Hamid is now in high school. This is a very sensitive time because his body is changing and he is figuring out his identity in this world. Yet, nobody talked to him about the changes he is going through. His mom said to him, “Oh, what a handsome man you are becoming” as he started to grow facial hair. Many of his friends went to the gym daily to build muscle. Hamid’s dad, uncles and friends kept encouraging him to join the football team even though he wanted to join the art club.
Impact of societal norms on Hamid: Hamid learned that boys transitioning into men are expected to be seen as muscular, tall, and handsome. They are supposed to be seen as strong both mentally and physically.
He continued to learn that art is not for boys and that he needs to be more athletic to be a “real” man.
Hamid’s internalization of these norms: Hamid did not “bulk up” his muscles as much as his friends, and dealt with the pressure of wanting to look more muscular. To fit in, Hamid started working out at the gym with his friends. Additionally, he shut himself down from expressing his feelings. He continued to be a support for others, while often feeling that his needs, interests, and feelings are not seen and not heard. He began to shut himself off from what he loves, and had to cope with the loneliness it brings.
20-year-old Hamid
Hamid’s experience: In college, Hamid wanted to study art and literature, but shifted to engineering because his parents though it was a more dependable career. He got excellent marks on his exams and made his parents proud. They encouraged him to find an engineering internship to start his career.
His mom also wanted him to get married, but he struggled to make deep connections with his friends and was not interested in anyone in particular.
Instead, Hamid focused on starting his career.
Impact of societal norms on Hamid: Hamid learned that men are supposed to be the provider and protector of others. Their status in society is usually determined by their career, earnings, and opportunities for promotion. Their status is about what they do rather than who they are as people with unique interests, strengths, and character. He also learned that to be considered successful, he should marry a woman and have children.
Hamid’s internalization of these norms: Hamid believes that he should work on securing an internship at a major corporation and focus on developing his engineering skills. He tells himself that as he becomes more stable in his career, he will eventually find a wife and settle down. He doesn’t think too much about that process or make the effort he will need to successfully find a partner. He has transformed from himself into the mask that everyone expects of him.
30-year-old Hamid
Hamid’s experience: Hamid is now successful in his career, married and is now thinking to start a family. Everything seems to be going alright.
Suddenly, his dad passes away. Overcome with grief, Hamid does not know how to handle it. He is not able to focus on his work anymore, and sometimes he lashes out at his wife. Everything around him starts to spiral out of control.
Impact of societal norms on Hamid: Because Hamid was successful in his career, everyone assumed he was doing well, including himself. There was no acknowledgement from his friends or family about the sacrifices he made to become a lead engineer, the support his wife has given to him, or the other life challenges he faced. Instead, Hamid was constantly praised for being “the guy who has it all”. Everyone around him constantly praises how he can do it all.
Hamid’s loss goes unseen as he is expected to be the strong one for his mom and siblings. When he tears up during the funeral, one uncle tells him, “Hamid don’t cry. Be strong for your mom”.
Hamid’s internalization of these norms: Hamid believed that he should be able to do everything without help. Even though his wife had supported him a lot early in his career, he failed to acknowledge this.
Now facing his father’s death, Hamid doesn’t have the skills he needs to thoroughly and openly process this experience. He is overtaken by sadness and does not know how to cope.
Hamid makes the brave call to seek out counseling. He reached out to a grief counselor who began working with him to break down the societal messages he received throughout his life and created a safe environment for him to recognize and process his emotions.
50-year-old Hamid
Hamid’s experience: Now, with every new challenge or difficulty Hamid faces, he can navigate it with more ease utilizing the tools he has learned in therapy. He has started mentoring young boys at the town center on how they can learn to express themselves and encourages each of them to follow their interests.
Impact of societal norms on Hamid: Though society continuously taught Hamid that he had to be strong and stoic, he has broken that norm and has learned to be more expressive.
He is not afraid to be vulnerable, or share his feelings and emotions with his wife, family, friends, and the youth he mentors at the town center. He shows them that recognizing emotions and sharing them is strong. This has made his relationship with his wife stronger and more satisfying.
Hamid’s internalization of these norms: Now that Hamid has broken the norms of how society expects men to be, he feels freer and is more comfortable with sharing his emotions. He feels more alive and engaged in the world.
He is engaged in art and literature again and has incorporated it into his daily life.
Hamid is breaking the norms he faced growing up.
He is modeling for other males in the community how to find balance between oneself and others, without losing himself.
Photos licensed from Creative Commons and Canva.
Support the well-being of boys and men:
- Empathize:
- When we encourage men to share their feelings and experiences and be vulnerable, we can build stronger connections. By letting them know that we will make the effort to understand them, and share honestly ourselves, we give them a safe space to explore and feel supported.
- Challenge outdated stereotypes about men and masculinity:
- A common norm in society is that men should suppress their emotions. They are expected to be problem-solvers and be logical in every situation. Let’s challenge that in our homes, schools, and local communities. Encourage boys and men to express their feelings, and encourage them to explore activities, careers, or tasks that are often seen as feminine. Many boys will someday become fathers and need to practice parenting, so let them play with the doll.
- Develop deep and meaningful connections with them:
- A major way to help our boys and men is working with them to develop good communication skills. When they can express themselves better, it helps us understand what they are experiencing, and it helps them understand us better, too. This helps us develop deeper connections as we continue to understand each other better.
- Build on their unique strengths, rather than the strengths society places on them:
- Identify the strengths in the men around you and help them find their strengths. Allow them grace for not always having the characteristics that are expected of them by society.
- Normalize seeking counseling:
- Hamid made the brave decision to seek counseling when he felt overtaken by the grief. This counseling supported his growth in understanding himself better and expressing himself to others. We can transform our lives if we make our mental health as important as our physical health.
Contact ReWA
- ReWA’s Center for Social Emotional Wellbeing can help. Contact us at CSEWIntakes@rewa.org
Supporting the Women in your Life
Opportunities for women and overall gender equality have increased substantially in recent years, but significant barriers still exist. Barriers, such as, gender-based violence, unequal pay, and limitations in education and political power prevent many women from using all their talents to benefit society. Women all over the world experience life in multitude of ways and not all women are afforded the same opportunities.
Marwa is a 28-year-old doctor, mother and wife. She works at a hospital and is one of the only two female doctors in her department. Let’s travel through one woman’s typical day with Marwa.
Marwa’s Morning
Marwa wakes up at 5:00am, and gets ready for her long day at work. She prays, drinks her coffee with a bagel, prepares breakfast for her husband and kids, and drives to work. She leaves for work before her kids wake up, and this makes her sad. However, she loves being a doctor as well.
Marwa Arrives at Work
Once Marwa arrives at work, she takes a deep breathe and checks in with the nurses on the unit. She gets updates on all her patients she will see for the day, and begins her rounds.
Marwa’s Workday
Within the first hour, she is yelled at by a patient who says, “Women should not be doctors”. Later in her shift, a doctor aggressively questions her diagnosis of a patient. Throughout Marwa’s shift she faces negative comments, yet she continues to support her patients. Although she remains headstrong and positive, it begins to wear down on her. Marwa’s team of nurses, doctors and staff see themselves as a collective and supportive unit. The team uplift and encourage Marwa to tap into her inner strength and she feels confident speaking up for herself. She gathers enough inner strength to finish her shift. She leaves her shift after a long day at 7pm.
Marwa’s Commute
On her drive home, Marwa thinks about all the chores she has to do once she reaches her home. She has to prepare dinner, run the laundry, bathe the kids, and put them to sleep. Marwa’s role as a parent is very important to her and she loves her family deeply. Nonetheless, Marwa is exhausted.
Marwa’s Home
Marwa enters her home, and her beautiful children come running to her. They both instantly tell her about their day. She embraces her kids and hugs them deeply. Her husband then comes and gives her a kiss on the head. After hugging, Marwa goes to the kitchen to start dinner only to realize that her husband has already cooked it. Her husband, Adam, and the kids prepared dinner and set the table for the family to eat together. After dinner, Marwa and her husband load up the dishwasher, bathe the children and put them to sleep. She realizes that she is not alone, and has a strong support system in her husband, children and coworkers. Once everyone is asleep, Marwa takes a small break, drinks relaxing tea, and heads to bed to start it all over the next day.
How can we support the women in our life?
As Other Women: Uplift one another and encourage each other towards growth in life, advocate and speak up with another.
As Men: Listen to the women around you, ask them how you can support them, listen to their stories and struggles, advocate for their rights.
Young Adults: Advocate for women’s rights, take part in community conversations and engagements on topics of equality, Help the women around you.
Children: Help out the women around you, for example, your mom, sisters, grandmothers. Ask mom what you can do to help with chores or tasks.